28th Attempt is most successful...right?

*Sets down large glass of southern sweet tea*
Hey there!  MMmmm...Have ya'll checked out Dominos pizza lately?  I'm tellin ya, if you haven't, you should!  They have really stepped their game up.  Very good pizza these days. Not like the school or skating rink version back in the day.  They are always more accurate than Pizza Hut..and faster.  At least, where I live they are.

Okay, now that I've mentioned what I'm doing right now, I will proceed.  I'm eating pizza along with my famous sweet tea.  The kind of sweet tea that really is closer to maple syrup.  But hey, it's the south...that's how we roll down here. =)

This pizza and sweet tea aren't just ANY pizza and sweet tea.  Oh no...this is like a last supper ceremonial situation.  This blog is about my struggle with weight loss and making changes to lose the weight I've packed on since being married.  WAIT!  Don't leave!  I know you are rolling your eyes, saying "good lord...another bandwagon New Years resolution woman."  Sigh, okay, it's New Years, but really...sometimes it makes for an easier transition.  (Even though polls show 85% of people who make resolutions don't make it past 3 weeks of the first month.  Those are polls in my mind...not real, but it sounded good right?)

Lemme tell ya'll a bit about myself before I get into this blog (exit stage left if you are bored yet...it's gonna get worse)

I HAVE to lose weight.  Let me clarify.  I'm not a woman who is upset because she wears a size 14 and is average size and wants to cut out about 20 pounds.  I have REAL weight to lose.  Like bypass surgery amount of weight to lose.  100 would be great, 150 would be ideal for my BMI chart regarding my height (I'm short and round...imagine a meatball with legs and arms..and I don't mean Snooki and her sidekick...vomit)  The reason I say this is because I hate when women are like "ugh..I'm so gross...I have rolls (then they pull at skin on their stomach, which snaps right back into place), and I need to lose like 10-20 pounds so I can fit into my skinny jeans."  Really?  How about I need to lose weight so I can fit into the movie theater seat! B*T@H!  Just kidding...I love my skinny hoes. ;)  (Disclaimer...if you are offended easily with being non-PC...please leave.  I speak my mind.  And those who matter don't mind and those who mind can leave my page! Sorry Dr. Seuss...had to ad lib)  Anyways, back to my skinny hoes...I love ya'll, but you have to realize that big girls like me would LOVE to have your little non existent rolls!  Now, I know that skinny women sometimes have negative body images just like us fluffy girls.  But for the purpose of this blog, I will not address ya'lls body images...it's all about the big ladies tonight!  Can I get a "what what?!"

As you see I get off track easily.  If you have made it to this paragraph you are either a)loving my sense or humor, b)bored or c)your computer has a virus and can't leave the page.

Now, why do I HAVE to lose weight?  Couple of reasons:
1.  I'm 31, which is not nursing home old, but I need to get serious about this before the geriatric brochures start coming in.  Age can sometimes slow down weight loss.

2.  I'm over the whole "I wanna look hot" phase.  I'm married, I don't do the clubs anymore, and a awesome night for me would be actually not being bothered by work after hours.  I do however, WANT TO BE HEALTHY.  I am tired of being winded when I climb stairs, not fitting into my clothes and being in the biggest size I've ever worn in my whole life.  I want to be able to do average size people things, which I dont know what that is right now, but I will think of something later.

3.  I want my sex drive back again!  My poor husband.  Bless his heart.  He has withstood so much, but my lack of  energy leaves him in the cold...  Poor guy used to have a wife with more of a drive than him!  TMI?  Probably...moving along...

4.  I want to get prego in 2013.  (which is why deferring back to #3 is important)I know I can, but I would be a high risk pregnancy due to my weight.  I want to think about that baby that would be growing inside me and not be so selfish by endangering his/her healthy because of what I stuff in my face!

5.  I want energy and ways to positively des-tress. Eating chocolate while watching marathon episodes of Real House Wives of (insert all cities with a show here) isn't the best way to handle a rough day or dealing with challenging co-workers...(no, I didn't say clients, I said co-workers)

Now before I go into the strengths and challenges that will be set before me while I'm on this new life journey (sounds so cliche), let me tell you a bit about me 4 years ago.  I WAS HOT!  and 100 pounds lighter, and 6-7 sizes smaller in my clothes.  I used to run 4 miles a day and eat healthy.  I wasn't on a a diet and wasn't really obsessed with my weight.  I was getting married and wanted to be healthy.  I had weighted my highest amount about 5 months before I met my husband (which is about 15 pounds lighter than what I am now...sigh).  I got serious about my health and it became a hobby and a lifestyle.  I met my husband and we didn't really work out much together (love does that to ya) but once we got engaged, we started running together and I lost another 40 pounds.  It was great...although I still saw myself as a blimp in the mirror (refer to my statement about stupid annoying skinny hoes earlier).  Needless to say, once I got married, my love weight really picked up.  Now, there were some major life situations that came up in our first year of marriage, which sent me into a bit of a depression.  Just until the last year has the "fog" really lifted and do I finally feel like myself and I looked in the mirror like "WHAT THE HELL?!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?!"

So here I am now.  Fat, sick and Nearly Dead (jk jk jk...good documentary though.  But I could never just juice...I think I would have major withdrawals and become more of a witch than I already am )  I'm at the point that I am ready to take this serious.  I have tried several times over the past 4 years of marriage, but alas, I always fall back into bad habits.

I want to address a few Strengths I think will be helpful in the process and possible Barriers.  (PS..I'm a social worker, so that explains the lingo there..and no..I don't take away babies from parents...)

Strengths:
1.  Fed up with myself. 
2.  Have a big life changing goal of getting preggers this year
3.  Have the time/means to do this
4.  Very supportive husband who is going to do this with me (who also loves me and tells me daily how beautiful and desirable I am to him <3)
5.  Have the knowledge of what to do to be healthy
6.  Have lost weight healthily before
7.  I'm pretty stubborn and like to challenge myself

Possible Barriers:
1.  Losing weight is never fun
2.  Changing a lifestyle of 4 years will be challenging
3.  My job is VERY high stress (coping methods include but are not limited to; over eating, laying n bed when getting home, skipping meals)
3.  My job is very stationary...I sit at a desk most of the day with little movement
4.  When I don't see changes fast, I start to think I'm not going to do well
6.  Most of my workouts will be in the AM...I dont do AM very well...initially

I think those are it for now...but I'm sure the list will grow as my "journey" continues. 

I will weigh in in once a week and be doing measurements as well. 

Will I post my weight??...maybe.  Still insecure about that..although, as one of my friends said once after she had weight loss surgery "I was ***lbs.  I never told anyone, but its not like you can hide that amount of weight and not have people be surprised by the number"  I will most likely start by telling you how much I'm loosing and as my confidence starts to slowly grow, I may post the actual number.  We shall see...uh oh...it's a cliff hanger! jk...that was dumb.

Well, I will sign off for now!  Follow if you'd like, but mostly, this is a therapy for me in the form as a journal. =)

Peace babycakes!
~Manders

PS..please dont expect my grammar to improve in these blogs. =)